24th of Nov

back from PLTC 2008 le !!!

i am really missing camp and all my GILWELL subcamp scouts !!! u guys had really make me miss all of you like mad lorx !!! and i really hope u guys enjoy the camp and learn thing !!!

PLTC 08 is really successful and well done everybody ...

something tat i like the most !!!

"yeah yeah yeah yeah" , "AH AH AH AH"

'Gilwell ..... who you want to be ah , no. 1 ar
Who u want to be ar, Gilwell warrior
Fight fight, fight like a champion
Win win , Win like a Champion
Fight like a champion
Win like a Champion
O...... GILWELL "

hope to see u guys soon and miss you guys !!!

雨淋湿了天空毁得很讲究你说你不懂为何在这时牵手我晒干了沉默悔得很冲动就算这是做错也只是怕错过

在一起叫梦分开了叫痛是不是说没有做完的梦最痛迷路的后果我能承受这最后的出口在爱过了才有

能不能给我一首歌的时间紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远在我的怀里你不用害怕失眠哦如果你想忘记我也能失忆能不能给我一首歌的时间把故事听到最后才说再见你送我的眼泪让它留在雨天哦越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点

雨淋湿了天空毁得很讲究你说你不懂为何在这时牵手我晒干了沉默悔得很冲动就算这是做错也只是怕错过

在一起叫梦分开了叫痛是不是说没有做完的梦最痛迷路的后果我能承受这最后的出口在爱过了才有

能不能给我一首歌的时间紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远给我一首歌的时间在我的怀里你不用害怕失眠哦如果你想忘记我也能失忆能不能给我一首歌的时间把故事听到最后才说再见

你送我的眼泪让它留在雨天哦越过你划的线

我定了勇气的终点

你说我不该不该不该在这时候说了我爱你要怎么证明我没有说谎力气哦请告诉我暂停算不算放弃我只有一天的回忆

能不能给我一首歌的时间紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远在我的怀里你不用害怕失眠哦如果你想忘记我也能失忆能不能给我一首歌的时间把故事听到最后才说再见你送我的眼泪让它留在雨天哦越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点

你说我不该不该不该在这时说了爱你要怎么证明我没力气告诉我暂停算不算放弃

你说我不该不该不该在这时才说爱你要怎么证明我没有力气我只有一天的回忆

i love this song .. can i have a time limit of a song ??
i decide to keep lovin u ..
i know i will get hurt as it goes on..
but i am willing to take it ...
i will be here for u always ..
I LOVE YOU !!!

11 of nov

i am feeling much better today le .. but my body somehow is trying to make me fall sick .. vomitted yest night and today was having headach and feel like vomitting .. sian .. dunno wat will happen tmr le ...

erm i had sms her today and i told her i will like to talk to her on the next time i meet her again ... i really dunno when i see her wat can i say .. but i will try to tell her wat i really wish to say la .. as i said before i had regret not telling her i love her !!

erm there is so much thing to do this few week .. and PLTC and Unit camp is drawing so near le .. haha erm i really hope i will do well in the camp and make sure the boys learn things from me !! haha

9 of nov

i am really feeling the pain ...

looking thru all the sms u send since 21 of aug till today the first sms and also the only u reply back .. i am happy to see changes in you but i am still feeling very pain .. i really dunno how much time will i take to bring myself to forward....

i am really feeling sad for not telling you how i feel abt u , not putting in as much as i could for u and not being able to bring u more thing ... "i hate myself for not lvin u enough" .... hate myself for not overcoming the fear to tell u i wan u to b might and i wan to be with u when u are happy, sad or anything ..

now all i can do is too view ur back view and see u lovin another person ...

view the pic i place at my wallet, those sms u send, thinking for the time i am looking forward to see u, thinking of the days that i can attend camp and see u ... i dunno y but i am missing u more when i know u are walking away from me toward another him ...

i really hope u will be happy ..

9 of nov

firstly, well done to al pltc participants and committee member for the successful PLTC seminar and i really enjoy myself with gilwell subcamp !!!

my mood now for the day !!! VERY VERY UPSAD !!!

the gal i love is living happily with another guy .... i have been thinking what is the reason that i love her and my purpose of loving her is try to make her chnage her attitude toward other and make sure she will be a better person ... have i done that ?? i believe her attitude did change and i am really happy to see her being a better attitude person !! i had also once said to justin that if i can see a change in her, it is also ok for me not to have her as my gal !! so wat i said had happen and do u tink i have the rite to be upsad ??

i should not be feeling upsad now infacr happy that she did change and she is now happy with who she is ... is jus a normal heart breaking nicholas u are seeing for the next few wk ... in fact i am really pissed with myself or not being able to tell her wat i really feel .. i am jus a NOOB FUCK ... wanting to overcome my fear of tell ppl but i still can do it rite !!!

MSG TO HER:
Wen ... i am sure u know this msg is to u !! i am really happy that i manager to see a change in you towards ur attitude and happy to see u finding someone who can love u more than i can !! is jus that i have a few thing which i didn;t have a chnace to tell you ...but it dun really matter le la .. but i do wish tat we can still be like how we are ... feel free to sms u if u face any problem and dun avoid anything !! after all still friends and still scout bro and sis ar !!!

ps:if i am not putting a smile on my face for the next few wk please forgive me !!!

6th of nov

Am i Ready to help other people ??
Fellowship to the open air and service !!!

is all my rover crew ready for it ??

personally i tink i am really not ready !! but i will overcome the fear i have in my own mindset ... i am more than willing to help but everything when i think of what is going to happen after that i have fear coming in to me ... i believe if i really put in my heart to overcome it i will !!!

really have a nice chat with justin while waiting for wolf and it really hit me lot with my thinking !!

Am i ready ?? i really hope i am !!

i really fear a lot on relationship and also facing one of my fellow rover but i believe i will face it soon !!!

is changing her what i really wan only ?? i tink is part of wat i wan and will i take her as a replacement ?? i will touch my heart and say !!"NO" if i can put in my heart to help her y cant i do the same to my fellow rover ?? i really asked myself ....

if i were to approach any of our rover please dun let the others know ok ??? haha i will soon ask you out for a talk !!! haha wait for me !! and also towards my relationship i think is time i should at least know what she is thinking le !!

no doubt u might not be ready for a realtionship but after all i believe both of us will wan to know if is one-sided or is both way !! but dun worry .. ur answer wun make me lost u as a fren !! after all we can still be how we are now if is one-sided !!! i believe is only whether u wan it or u dun !! true ??

i have found my problem in my mindset and i am going to find a solution to solve it !!

to all my frens out there !! there will not be a problem without a solution !! believe me .. is whether u are willing to put in ur heart to find the solution !!!

5th of nov

NPC training , LKY young inventor , PLTC 08 , Venture unit and cub scout field day 09 !!! omg .. so many things to do lorx .. but wat i am much stress off is the cub scout field day la !!! i am reall abt the finance part ... but i believe i will try my best to do it de !! haha

meet azri today to disccus on NPC training again !! erm it seem like our boys had too much idea le and they simply jus nv take time as part of the consideration !! i will be going down on wed to see wat idea they have and ffrom there try to figure out wat they wan la !! althought i really feel sad that they wan to change most of the thing i had plan la .. but somehow i already prepared ?? haha really dunno ....

erm i simply missing HuiWen so so much la !! even thought i wil be able to see her this coming sat la .. but jus mis her lorx !! haha

erm jus to take note !! if anyone were to find Azri wallet anywhere please return to him ok !!! haha he is like waiting for the wallent to come back to him !! haha

4th of nov

i am back to update my blog le !! haha erm the last wk end was really busy for me !! erm went to help out dove on the camp but i think i didn't really help much la !! but i can get to see HuiWen !! haha is that my main purpose ?? i dun tink so la !! haha

School is also kind of busy too .. my project was choosen for LKY young inventor award and there will be a presentation this coming wed !! hopefully my group will get through !! wish me luck horx !! haha

anyway, went bball today and after that meet marlin and R.bat for a chit chat !!

erm marlin asked us this question "have u ever ask god why did god place someone in your live at different period of ur live ??" i believe most people will answer the same waay as i did ?? erm what i told him was " the reason is kind of simple maybe, ITS A TEST !!" don't u guys feel the same ?? erm u can meet some one who is easy to communicate but some time u will meet some one that is so difficult to get along but after all is a test for u to learn how to make both of them a fren of yours ....

Everything in live is a test and is a learning point as long as u are willing to open up to accept it !! so there is nth that u cant do is onli if u are willing to open up and do it !!

So to all my frens out there !! erm if u have something that u want to do but haven !! do open up and do it !! haha although i also have something that i haven do !! haha but i will try my best to open up and ask !! haha

1st of nov

HIHI !!! erm jus reach home from a day of soccer today at the cage !! erm is really fun to play with Azhari friends and relative !! haha after all, i had a nice games with them !! but the after effect when u dun warm up == Cramps !! haha

while i was bathing just now i am think of this !! izzit tat she do not have confident in me or izzit she do not have confident in her ?? or am i jus not good enough for her ?? really kind of sob sob !! haha but hopefully is jus that she is not ready !!

i had went to develop one of the photo in my hp to put it in my wallet !! but now i have 2 .. cos they cannot wash jus one !! mus 2 so i put the other one at my ezlink card holder !1 so maybe i will see if she wan then i can give her lorx !! haha how i wish she will want it !! haha

tmr will be another long day for me !! long day = spend money ... but no matter wat i am going to try not to spend so much money le !!! so i tink i will be back soon to update again la !! really busy with stuff and i will be going for a young inventor competition soon !! haha hopefully i can win so money !! haha

see u guys soon at my blog !!

MSG FOR YOU >>>

YiZhen >> hey when are we going to meet ?? haha so long no see man !!

Marlin >> Erm all the best in everything u do and your gal gal ar !! but dun shotg_ _!!

Raging Bat >> hey hey you you , you are a POLICEMAN !!!

WisdomKeeper&Joanna>> stay lovin always !!

Russian Bear >> dun mistreat your stomach la dey !! haha

WaiMan >> Erm O lvl chinese good luck ar !! then pls take good care of yourself horx !! and miss u lot lot !!! haha